[ANCIENTWILLIAM]

Well as I'm on nights I thought I'd do the Friday morning funny bloomin early today

TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND

10. Cats' facial expressions.
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
7. Fat clothes.
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.
3. Eyelash curlers.
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

AND, the Number One thing only women understand :

1. OTHER WOMEN



Just so spookily true ...

[starfish]

but beansprouts make a stirfry what it is!
and what happens if you have the same top in two different colours? then you need shoes to match
they all make sense if you think about them....oh,yeah...blokes can't do that

[ANCIENTWILLIAM]

MMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW


... and I bet you knew the facial expression to that too

[starfish]

handbags at dawn

[ANCIENTWILLIAM]

Not my weapon of choice but you can use as many handbags as you like chick ...

Now where did I put my shark bazooka Never do anything by halfs me

[starfish]

well considering i have MANY handbags....i can take my pick of the most dangerous one




i think i'll choose the one that came with a free shark bazooka

[keona w]

While thinking about things only women understand,i thought i d point out a few things to our lovely ladies from the mans point of view.

*Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissable in an argument.In fact all comments should be null and void after 24 hours.
*Please learn to work the toilet seat,we need it up,you need it down.You dont hear us complaining about you leaving it up.
*Crying is blackmail.
*If you think you are fat,please dont ask us about it.We cannot win.If we say yes,we are insensitive pigs,if we say no,we are lying.
*If something we say can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you mad/angry/sulk...we meant the other.
*If it itches we will scratch it/them.
*When we are in a rush...absolutely anything you wear is fine...really it is.
*All men see in only 16 colours,a bit like windows default settings.Peach is a fruit not a colour and we certainly have not got a clue what the hell mauve is.
*Dont ask us what we are thinking unless you are prepared for a chat about sex,cars or sport...and then sex again
*Saturday = sport.......shopping is not sport

And finally....
When you think you are punishing us by making us sleep on the settee,you arent....we actually like it,its like camping .

Best post this now before mrs k makes me sleep in the shed again tonight

[starfish]

PMSL

[ANCIENTWILLIAM]

Originally Posted by keona w

*Saturday = sport.......shopping is not sport

No its more like a gladiators fight to the death round here

[keona w]

Was shopping in Leeds on sunday and youre so right ET.All the women seemed to be on a mission to hit as many shops in one aft as physically possible.All the poor blokes(myself included)resembled the zombies from shaun of the dead....aimlessly walking with no purpose,all signs of life removed.I lasted one hour before dragging mrs keona out of her powershopping mode and into a pub....much better

[starfish]

APPARENTLY - you can shed loads of calories shopping...what with the walking between shops, heat in shops and stress of it all.
AND this increases during sales
SO what more reason do you need to go shopping?!

[keona w]

When men shop we usually know which shop we are aiming for and why we are going there.Shop trawling is equivalent to having pins stuck in your nads .......

[ANCIENTWILLIAM]

I have to admit that I've been partial to window shopping or just browsing round a shopping centre or two in my time.
I found in my younger single days that it can make you very popular with women ( being this ugly I need all the help I can get anyway ) of being 'THE' bloke who doesn't actually complain being taken round shops ...
As long as I get to go in places I like too I've never seen it as a problem & also that I 'will' embarris the hell out of them in places like LA SENZA's or the M&S underwear department !!!
Mind you I also get to suffer my girlfriends symptoms whether its illness, stress or bleedin PMT as well

( NOTE - NO I DON'T SUFFER THE BLEEDIN AS IN BLEEDING BLOOD ... glad we got that straight people ) However I'm panicing if we ever had children trust me ... morning sickness, cravings ...

[keona w]

Originally Posted by Eviction Technician

However I'm panicing if we ever had children trust me ... morning sickness, cravings ...

And the constant overiding need for you to......"rub my back" ........The first thing you ll hear in a morning and the last thing youll hear on a night