[mojo]

A koala is sitting up a gumtree smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past and looks up and says "Hey Koala! What are you doing?"

The koala says: "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."

So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala and they have a few joints.

After a while the little lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river.

But the little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.

A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the little lizard: "What's the matter with you?"

The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.
The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the rain forest, finds the tree where the koala is sitting finishing a joint, and he looks up and says "Hey you!"


So the koala looks down at him and says:


"Faaaaarrrrk dude....... how much water did you drink?!!"

[starfish]

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

that's brightened up my day...

[annie69]

LOLOL! I love it quality

[SERENITYGIRL]

pmsl Mojo.

got any more?

[ILee]

Fantastic. LOL

[mojo]

Originally Posted by SERENITYGIRL

got any more?

>
>>
>> HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids)
>>
>> You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like
>> sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep
>> the chips and dip coming.
>> -- Alan, age 10
>>
>> No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to
>> marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
>> -- Kristen, age 10
>>
>>
>>
>> WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
>>
>>
>> Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
>> -- Camille, age 10
>>
>> No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
>> -- Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age)
>>
>>
>>
>> HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
>>
>>
>> You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at
>> the same kids.
>> -- Derrick, age 8
>>
>> WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
>> Both don't want any more kids.
>> -- Lori, age 8
>>
>>
>>
>> WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
>>
>>
>> Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other.
>> Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
>> -- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)
>>
>> On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually
>> gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
>> -- Martin, age 10
>>
>> WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
>>
>>
>> I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the
>> newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
>> -- Craig, age 9
>>
>> WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
>>
>>
>> When they're rich.
>> -- Pam, age 7
>>
>> The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
>> - - Curt, age 7
>>
>> The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry
>> them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
>> -- Howard, age 8
>>
>>
>>
>> IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
>>
>>
>> It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need
>> someone to clean up after them.
>> -- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)
>>
>>
>>
>> HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
>>
>>
>> There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
>> -- Kelvin, age 8
>>
>> And the #1 Favorite is........
>>
>>
>> HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
>> Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
>> -- Ricky, age 10



(thers loads more if you ll still want them)

[ANCIENTWILLIAM]

Originally Posted by mojo

A koala is sitting up a gumtree smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past and looks up and says "Hey Koala! What are you doing?"

The koala says: "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."

So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala and they have a few joints.

After a while the little lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river.

But the little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.

A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the little lizard: "What's the matter with you?"

The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.
The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the rain forest, finds the tree where the koala is sitting finishing a joint, and he looks up and says "Hey you!"


So the koala looks down at him and says:


"Faaaaarrrrk dude....... how much water did you drink?!!"

Nicking my jokes now are we my friend ... shortening them & changing the monkey for a Koala ....

[mojo]

fine!

well it still got a good response, so people do pay attention to me. maybe they ignore you on a matter of principal. i know i do


"This is a true story, indicating how fascinating the mind of a 6 year
old is.

They think so logically.

A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her
class.
She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to
gather the building materials for his home. She read, "and so the
pig
went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said: 'Pardon
me sir, but may I have some of that straw To build my house?"

The teacher paused then asked the class: "And what do you think The
man said?"

One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly, "I think
the man would have said: "Well, blimey! A talking pig!""

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes. "

[SERENITYGIRL]

Thanks Mojo i love the ones with the kids.

Kids are so funny in the way they see life eh.

thanks loads

[mojo]

THIS IS JUST WRONG, FUNNY BUT WRONG!! its also, a little saucy, but i have edited it slightly, i hope iwt withi forum rules


A couple were invited to a s.y family masked fancy dress Halloweenparty.
The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time to be spoiled by not going.
So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, woke without pain and as it was still early, decided to go to the party. As her husband didn't know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
So she joined the party and soon spotted her husband in his costume, cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice "chick" he could and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife went up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his new partner high and dry and devoted his time to her. She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her husband.
After more drinks he finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had passionate intercourse in the back seat. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make up for his outrageous behaviour. She was sitting up reading when he came in, so she asked what kind of time he had.
Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."Then she asked, "Did you dance much?"
He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the spare room and played poker all evening."
"You must have looked really silly wearing that costume playing poker all night!" she said with unashamed sarcasm.
To which the husband replied,






"Actually, I gave my costume to your Dad,apparently he had the time of his life."

[keona w]

YEEEEEEUUUUUUWWWW

Heres another one thats a bit naughty,ill edit best i can.

A family are driving behind a dustcart when to a young mums horror,a massive vibrator flies from the cart and smashes onto the windscreen.
"what was that asked her young son"
To protect her young lads innocence and also due to her own embarressment the mum says it was just an insect.
To which the young lad replies.......
"F**k me mam,im surprised it could fly at all with a c**k like that"

[ANCIENTWILLIAM]

Originally Posted by mojo

THIS IS JUST WRONG, FUNNY BUT WRONG!! its also, a little saucy, but i have edited it slightly, i hope iwt withi forum rules


A couple were invited to a s.y family masked fancy dress Halloweenparty.
The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time to be spoiled by not going.
So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, woke without pain and as it was still early, decided to go to the party. As her husband didn't know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
So she joined the party and soon spotted her husband in his costume, cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice "chick" he could and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife went up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his new partner high and dry and devoted his time to her. She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her husband.
After more drinks he finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had passionate intercourse in the back seat. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make up for his outrageous behaviour. She was sitting up reading when he came in, so she asked what kind of time he had.
Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."Then she asked, "Did you dance much?"
He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the spare room and played poker all evening."
"You must have looked really silly wearing that costume playing poker all night!" she said with unashamed sarcasm.
To which the husband replied,






"Actually, I gave my costume to your Dad,apparently he had the time of his life."

Just another average Saturday might on the Isle of Sheppy

[mojo]

speakig of which.were is the bum?

[ANCIENTWILLIAM]

Maybe his banjo string snapped so he was off to find a new one !!!

Don't know, but I'm sure he'll be around

[starfish]

Originally Posted by ANCIENTWILLIAM

Maybe his banjo string snapped so he was off to find a new one !!!

" who's pickin' a banjo here?! " haha...deliverance - what a film! i heard it was filmed in sheppy...