[the_sacred_chilli]

Day 2 started late, and hungover. In the words of Amy “UUGGHH” was how she felt. We ate the mandatory peach slices for breakfast, and had a quick tidy up of our pitch, that had become a huge bottle recycling centre overnight, with Kronenburg bottles everywhere. After a quick refurbishment on the landrover. (Taking the roof and doors off). We did a spot of dune surfing as the tide was out. This involves jumping off the dunes and sliding down on your body board, better than it sounds. Will wandered around looking for girls to chat up, using his awesome technique of going and sitting down next to them and then just sitting there til they talked to him. One day he will find his woman. And generally we spent the morning getting over our hangovers

Then we headed to Croyde to check out long-board hire, and to meet up with Mads, one of Giles friends from the previous years roadtrip. Her and her friends slept on the dunes at Croyde that night, as when they called Giles to find out where he was he was a little bit too pissed to … well do anything really. Nick then set his mind on a long board for the next day, and we headed back to Saunton for some bodyboarding. The tide was out, but the waves were alright, and we caught a few rides, and the sun. What timing, low coming over the Atlantic to force the surf up and a heatwave.

Us lads then went shopping for beer, but failed. We did however manage to fing the worlds most minging cider. I suppose if you ask for the cheapest, most alcoholic, most likely to make us blind, non spirit drink they sell, then cider in a milk carton is all you can expect. The girls also headed out to pick up more beer, sausages, bacon, vodka and Geoff. In the end Geoff's train was delayed so he caught a taxi later. We didnt know Geoff, as he was tess' friend. We were a bit worried he was going to be some freaked out old geezer, but it was all good. Geoff is 31, looks 22, acts 19, and has a very cool job as a soundman for bands like Incubus, Wheatus, and My Vitriol.

That night we had another BBQ, and got pissed again. What a life we lead. We headed to bed slightly earlier, in order to get up to catch the early morning surf at Croyde. And so day 2 slipped away in a drunken haze.

[the_sacred_chilli]

Bollocks I was trying to get it in lots of bitesize chunks under one thread, like tall thin bloke. Maybe this is the way to do it

[ivanmcp]

Hehe, nice story.

If you want, I can move this part of your story under your previous thread, so the two are merged together. They would still remain separate posts, but under one threat. It would be easier to read if all parts were in the same thread. As an admin it is easily done. Just let me know.

Looking forward to read the rest of your story .

[the_sacred_chilli]

that would be good cheers mr head honcho blokey

[the_sacred_chilli]

Day 3 crept into being in a similar hungover daze as Day 2 started, except at a ridiculously early time, so we could be first at “Le Sport” (which I highly recommend for hiring equipment in Croyde). Nick hired his 10 and a half-foot beast, and we went down to the Croyde bay to catch the morning surf. The waves were pretty good, and we caught a few rides. I am the first to admit that I am not exactly a professional bodyboarder, but I did manage to patent my own unique trick: Dropping off the top of a wave, head over the end of the board mouth open, and forcibly ramming half the Atlantic down my throat. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. It’s not so much fun. The waves were breaking twice, and the further out break was much larger, so me and G started the epic trial of trying to swim through the first break. G gave up, but I eventually struggled through like the all action hero that I am. I then picked my wave, and paddled like a mad dog, only to have this wave (which as huge say about 20 ft honest) break on top of me. Undeterred I turned round having being swept backwards and swam back for take two. This went much similar to the first try, except I’m sure the wave was bigger. Third time lucky I thought as I madly paddled for the third time. Lucky for who though? As I got nailed AGAIN, I realised that maybe it was just one of those days. Ocean 3 Me 0. I washed up on shore and headed in, the tide had now gone out, thanks to my copious swallowing of ocean. Even worse Nick and G were cruising up and down on the longboard like it was a walk way at an airport. Isn’t life a shit?

Now with less water we headed back to Saunton Sands where I learned to longboard. For anybody like me who hadn’t tried it before, it’s awesome. No skill needed. Just catch a wave, and it’s like getting on a bus and asking for a single to the shore. QUESTION. Do those piddly little stabilising fins on some body boards actually help stabilise it, or are they in fact (like we suspect) go faster fins in disguise? Beginning to get board of the same tapes over and over again. Bob Marley then Offspring then Santana then Otis Redding repeat ad infinitum. Although all musical legends you can have too much of a good thing. (I did have another one, but Nick banned me from playing Chris Rea, ****ing cultural troglodyte)

Speaking of Nick I have to mention this incredible feat that he managed on his first proper day on a longboard. He cruised along a wave to an almost certain collision with another boarder. Met in the middle, didn’t crash, but instead shook hands with the other guy, and then separated again. It was pretty sweet.

Went shopping, more beer, and bought ourselves a decent, uncharred, non-bleeding meal from the fish and chip shop. No G’s cooking was alright …… honest. Went back to the campsite and got leathered. Fell asleep outside, having decided I was going to finish all the beer we had left. Didn’t manage it. Probably a good thing, as we had enough left to get a horse pissed.

[the_sacred_chilli]

Packed up on Day 4, wiped a tear from our eyes, as this immense trip finally came to an end. Only way to survive is to think of the next trip. Rumour says the roadtrip may go international this summer, but Croyde be warned in 2004 we will be back with our bad music, bad cars and our bad selves. Speaking of bad cars I called Nick at six that evening to find he was still in Barnstaple. (We left at eleven, you do the maths).

Any other children of the Croyde, or wannabes who fancy roadtrippin’ would be welcome to join us for Roadtrip MkIII in 2004. Things you have to like; surfing, bodyboarding, getting trollied, sleeping in tents, peach slices, pork pies, getting spanked (kidding), Bob Marley and punk or a selection of these. Its cheap, only cost me £50, if you have your own equipment. People with mental ages of 17-25 should apply. As Geoff proved you are only as young as you act. Although old wrinkly surfer people, big respect, but this isn’t your thing. Also Nick is beginning to feel the squeeze of singledom, and would appreciate some young attractive bustful women to accompany him. If you fancy it or Nick then email me at the_sacred_chilli@hotmail.com .

This has been a ZOLTAN [DWMC] production brought to you by Chris, Nick and Big G. We do not hold any responsibility for any injuries or death suffered whilst trying to imitate this epic voyage, but hope you enjoyed ours. If not you are looking at the wrong website try www.my_mum_still_dresses_me.com. Hopefully photos to follow.

Be cool and never forget “if you don’t remember it, then it never really happened.”