[Cliff]

Once upon a time there were Four lads, One called Cliff, One called Hari, One called Mark and another called Nick. Over worked and Under paid, they were in desperate need of a break as far away from home/work as possible.
One Friday evening they were all sitting in the pub drinking large quantitys of Beer and Cider when one of them, The cleverest, best looking one, Cliff (that's me) came up with a brilliant Idea. His parents had just bought a Holiday Cottage in Mousehole (Prenounced mouzle) that hadn't been furnished but was in need of some brute force to move heavy things from downstairs to upstairs. " Lets go to Cornwall" said cliff to the others. errrrr, ok said the others. All of a sudden , like a ray of sunshine, all four geeza's had beaming smiles and were no longer down in the dumps.
Early the next Saturday morning all four lads except Cliff (3 lads then)were packed, dressed and waiting to be picked up. Unfortunately cliff had decided to stay in Bed for an extra 20 minutes so he wasn't quite on time for a change.
Realising that everyone was probably Packed, dressed and waiting to be picked up, Cliff sat bolt up right in bed and said to himself "ahhhh , they can waite a bit longer". Fourty minutes later cliff had rounded up the Boyz and they se toff up the M4 on their 300 mile journey to a place that they had only dreamed about (Coz they'd never been there).

For the next part of ' A journey to a far and away place ' login in a day or two and I might have written it. It's a true story by the way, Not one of these fictional 40 foot wave type things.

See ya

[Cliff]

We got there, Had a good time and went home.

oh yeah, We decided to buy surf boards next time we go down.

We also drank lots and met many friendly ladies.

The END

A short and Pointless story by Cliff

[Hari]

oh Cliff started off so promising....... missed out so many funny events and its spelt Hari not Harry and as thats my nick name i can spell it how i like and u have to abide by that. so there.

[ivanmcp]

Hey Cliff,

As an administrator of this board, I will not tolerate such an abrupt end to (as Hari wrote "promising") story. I, and I believe many of the visitors to this board have been eagerly awaiting the next installment just to be given "We got there, Had a good time and went home."! I (We) demand a proper continuation and not a quick exit. How am I expected to have a good night's sleep when I keep wandering and pondering various questions such as 'Did any of you score?' and such likes?
Demand is out there, but will supply be met?

[Hari]

Cliff......

As a mate of yours for some 12 years now (well 7 as I actually know u mate) I feel that u should not let the Tall Thin Bloke take your podium as tale teller.

I was there a few years ago when the first tale emerged and I must remind of the excitment that created, ok, so it was about u walking home one night and u only sent it to a couple of ppl, but u had us fixed to our screens.

Come on Cliff, don't let the side down, u r the Teller now tell away.

[Cliff]

OK.....OK, here it is :

Are you sitting comfortably. Ahem, here we go

Once the boyz got on the M4 it finally sank in that for the first time in most of their lives they were...ermm......... going to Cornwall.
After about 15 minutes of Nick and mark arguing about the amount of crap that was loaded into the car and piled on top of them, Cliff decided it would be best to Stop at the Reading services, Fill up with petrol and re-arrange the car so that Mark would stop winging about his girly feather allergy and Nick could turn his skanky pants inside out to stop them from sticking to his leg.
They stopped, refueled, re-organsed and set off in a time that even Michael schumacher would have been proud of, laying rubber on the fourcourt as they did so.
From then on, they were focused on the journey ahead and the juctions were soon flying by. To pass the time Cliff suggested that they played the name game (I say Pamela Anderson, you say, Anna kournikova, I say Kelly brook e.t.c). After about 20 minutes cliff had ran out of Porn star/Celebrity babe names and decided it was a crap game anyway.
In no time atall they were off of the M4 and hurtling down the M5 at over 100 Mph (Not bad for a Vitara (It's my mums, honest)).
They were beginning to get bored of Nick bragging about the size of his .............Turds ! and how many work parties he'd been to and performed his woman impressions (Dick between the legs) infront of his managers manager, so Boring Mark pulled out the latest edition of Tea break and sent him to sleep with Complicated crosswords and Recipies for Pecan pie.

Much time then passed (It's a long journey and I get bored of typing one finger at a time)

All of a sudden there was a roar from the front of the car......"WE'RE IN CORNWALL " shouted Hari. After the car had recovered from 90 degree swerve that cliff had put it in, the rest of the car cheered in appreciation. There journey to a land normally far, far away was almost over.........

For the next Chapter, log in another time (Probably after the weekend).

Cliff

[Clifff]

Hello !!!!!
I'm back again. Sorry it's been a while. I've been busy doing lots of weird and wonderfull things, most of which were without Internet access ;(

Basically the weekend was packed with Surfin/Drownin, Alcohol and the occasional woman

As it's been so long, I don't think it would be righ to continue the story but !!! I will be returning to Mousehole on the 7th of December and it promises to be a weekend full of Alcohol, Cruizin around, Beaches (No surfin thought ;( )and Women !!!!!

Back soon ; )

[Clifff]

This is Me at Sennan

[Clifff]

Unfortunately, whilst in a drunken state, me and my friends decided to have a Peg-On-Face competition to see who had the best pain threshold. I won by the way. I think the bonus points for the Tongue snatched it for me

[Fox]

Didn't the pegs hurt? (well it looks painful!)

[tall thin bloke]

DEAR CLIFF
GLAD TO READ YOUR STUFF AGAIN . TELL ME...... THE PEG'S...DID YOU GO TO BED WITH THEM ON?

I BET SOMEWHERE OUT THERE IS A GYPSY WOMAN WITH THAT PICTURE STORED IN THER "FANTASY MOMENTS" AREA OF HER BRAIN ...DREAMING OF THE DAY WHEN SHE'LL MEET JUST SUCH A PERVERT AND SELL YO... EHEM ...HIM ..HER WHOLE DAYS "STOCK" IN ONE PROFIT LADEN HIT!!!!!!!


TARA

[Clifff]

The pegs that were on the less sensitive places (ears, Bridge of the nose etc) actually weren't very painfull atall. The ones on my tongue were the worst. It took a long time of carefull planning to sort out an order for the pegs to be placed (Painfull ones last !!)

After several minutes, the area's where the pegs were (My whole face) started to go slightly purple so I thought it best not to sleep with them on. However, a stray peg did stay on for almost an hour un noticed because the ares around it (My face) had gone numb from the lack of blood.

I feel the need to test my pain threshold occasionally. My previous achievements include:

No handed Down hill Mountain biking
Human canon ball from a real cannon
Bungee jumping with two elastic bands(Three would be too easy)

I have also run naked trough stinging nettles but that went horribly wrong so we don't talk about that one

[wyirdsista]

i have an excellent pain threshold! i bet it's greater than all yours! once i cycled into a brick wall, just for the hell of it! once i had someone stand on my bare foot with a stilletto! and, once, i made a total stranger whip me over and over again while i was naked and...

oh! hang on! thats not right!

*wyird* :

[tall thin bloke]

DEAR WYIRD
NO NEED TO BE SHY A LITTLE MUTUAL S&M IS OK IN TODAY'S SOCIETY.IN FACT THE "NEW LABOUR" PARTY WOULD WHOLE HEARTEDLY CONDONE YOUR USE OF NATRUAL FOLIAGE AND YOUR UNASHAMED NUDITY.WELL DONE ...........KEEP IT UP ..........IN FACT WITH THAT THOUGHT IN PLACE THATS EXACTLY WHAT IM DOING RIGHT NOW!

MY PAIN THRESHOLD IS ,AFTER MY GREAT WHITE ENCOUNTER,(SEE THE POST ENTITLED "SYMPATHY USE IT TO PULL CHICKS")NOW OF SUCH A HIGH LEVEL THAT I CAN EVEN WATCH THAT STUTTERING BUFFOON GARETH GATES FROM POP IDOL WITHOUT WANTING TO KICK THE TV ACROSS MY VERY SIZEABLE LONDON APARTMENT.ALTHOUGH AT £8000 A TIME MY PLASMA SCREEN IS FOR THE MOMENT............ SAFE.

BY THE WAY ....A "FRIEND" AHEM...WAS ASKING "WHAT COLOUR WAS THE STILLETO ?" AND "WAS THE OTHER CHICK FIT?"
I APOLOGISE FOR THESE PURILE QUESTIONS BUT "MY FRIEND" IS VERY , VERY EAGER TO KNOW!

[wyirdsista]

ah, ttb, as it's for your mate, i'll tell u!

i think it was a dark purple stilletto. but i dont think u would have liked the girl who commited this crule crime, as she was (what my mate calls) a fat manky cheesgrater!

whatever that means! but remember, i am neither manky or a cheesegrater! (dont even mention the fat bit or i will bite!)

anyway, my s&m exploits will have to be somewaht stopped as the police have found out that i have been stealing their handcuffs!!

talking of pain thresholds, i had the most painful pair of flip flops last summer wen i went to newquay and i still have the scar on my foot from whence the skin was rubbed off - OUCH!!